The Power of Language

This post focuses on the views of the term "disability", specifically in the d/Deaf culture.

Let's get educated!

For those of you who don't know this, my two older siblings are both Deaf. I am considered a SODA (Sibling of Deaf Adults). Recently, in a conversation, someone referred to my siblings as having a "disability". It was hard to hear because I personally don't think that deafness is a "disability".

This experience made me think about how comments like this come from a place of a preconceived idea of what deafness or "disability" is like. There is an impact on the way we articulate words with our idea towards a disability. There's the medical and social model in particular that I don't think many people are familiar with.

Let's take a moment to learn!

The word "model" will refer to a certain way of thinking about a disability.

Views of the medical model:

-A person is disabled by their own abnormalities

-Disabled people are considered to be atypical and require a cure, fix, or prevention of said disability.

-The disabled person is expected to adjust to societal norms, since they are considered not normal.

Views of the Social model:

-A person's disability is caused by their environment and its barriers (e.g. communication, attitudes of others, social norms)

-They are normal, valid varies of human beings and should have equal rights and ACCESS to society just as they are.

- They should be supported by society because they are equal and have a RIGHT to inclusion.

Food for Thought...

As a SODA, I felt the need to share this because it's important for us to be aware of the impact on others with the language we use. It's mind blowing to know that professionals use language that can really mark caregivers on their child's life. Many cultures, such as the South Asian culture, also value what medical professionals say. Unfortunately, that can do more harm than good when it comes to disabilities and treatment. The following is an example of something my sister shared with me.

*This did not happen to her but to someone she knows*

A child is born deaf and the first words the parents/caregivers typically hear from a medical professional is, "oh I am sorry. Your child is deaf." I can't imagine what that would be like. To hear "sorry" for something that ISN'T a problem. It would bring so much uneasiness.

But what if they said something like, "Congratulations! You have a healthy child! She/he is currently doing well. I do want to share with you that she/he does have a hearing loss. When you are ready, we can discuss what options to consider for her/him to live their life abundantly despite this one little thing."

Thinking about the ways we address "disabilities" and how our words can impact a life is crucial. It can leave a mark mentally and emotionally. My mom shared with me that one of her first visits to the doctor to check my sister's hearing was anything but pleasant. The doctor blamed my mom for the fact that my sister couldn't hear and left her crying and feeling guilty. Fortunately, my mom had wonderful support and strong female family members to give that doctor a piece of their mind. As my mom was provided more helpful resources, she took steps to learn how to better support my sister. After some time, my parents made a huge sacrifice to move to the states to ensure a better life and education for my sister (and later on my brother).

Since then, they have only flourished. My parents learned sign language, took classes and educated themselves. My sister went on to do what some people think would be unimaginable for the d/Deaf population- she studied hard, went off to college, and is now married and working in a science lab! My brother works with the deaf population and enjoys being able to easily communicate with his co-workers.

Personal experience

Growing up with my deaf siblings, we've received questions about deafness that have left us bewildered as to what kinds of experiences and ideas these people had prior to asking this.

Q: Can your siblings talk?

A: Yes! We use sign language to communicate!

Q: Can deaf people drive?

A: ...yes! They rely more on their sight. In fact, deaf people are considered safer drivers than hearing people due to their alertness and quick motor reflexes. Q: Can deaf people read? Can they read Braille?

A: We'll give you a moment to figure this one out. Here are some ridiculous ones- Q: Can deaf people get married and have children? Q: Can they go to school?

Q: Can they travel?

Q: Can they cook?

A:

The Take Away-

1. Deaf people can still do things hearing people do, just in a different way and that's totally OKAY.

2. Thinking about the language we use and its impact on others is important.

3. Take time to reflect ton any biases or ideas you have. think about where that came from, and if you really agree with it or not. Being aware will only help you to better connect with others and LEARN from their experiences.

I am grateful my parents received better help and pushed back against medical professionals, friends and others who had a very bias view of deafness. They knew their children potential and their love for them is what helped them to push back.

Sadly though, the biases they faced from others are still present. So, dear friend, please do you part and help me to spread some knowledge to others who do not realize the impact their words can have- especially to professionals who are expected to help. Let's come from a place of understanding that their biases have clouded their lens in which they view others, and share what is true so we can better support ALL members of society.

Action Steps

-Reflect on your own way of thinking towards different groups and the language that surrounds that group. Do you agree with the words typically spoken about that group? Why or why not?

-Take this test! Project Implicit It's a great way to educate yourself!

-Pay attention to the thoughts and associations you have regarding people who are different from you. Being aware of your own thoughts and views on others identities and characteristics will only help you to reframe any biases.

- Lead conversations with openness, humility, and kindness to those who are showing bias. As uncomfortable as it may feel, you are ultimately helping to breaking implicit bias.