Finding a Mental Health Professional
Prioritize your Mental Health
It's pretty obvious that there is still a stigma around mental health. If you feel impacted by these stigmas, I want you to know that it's always possible to seek help. There is no shame in seeking help. I'm sorry to the ones who were not taught how to ask for help or were shamed when you did. This article discusses a little bit about my journey and shares some practical tips and resources that hopefully can lead you to better support.
*Note- I am NOT a mental health professional. I am an advocate. These tips are things that have helped me in my own mental health journey. This may or may not work for you. I hope it does. It's worth a try.*
My Mind Journey
For quite some time now, I have gone through periods of my life dealing with anxiety and depression. At times they have felt at bay. But at other times, I felt like I would sink in them. They mainly happened during periods of great change, but would hit randomly. In these moments, I felt like something was wrong with me. I felt ashamed for the thoughts and feelings I experienced. I was told constantly to stop worrying and to "stop feeling this way". It wasn't until I actually started seeing a counselor that I finally felt a sense of relief from my thoughts and emotions. For those of you who have dealt with anxiety and/or depression, you most likely know what I'm talking about. Your shoulders finally drop down from your ears and there's a part of you that feels heard and "normal" again.
I'll be honest though, I wasn't entirely open to the thought of going at first. I had preconceived notions that something had to be physical visible for me to go. I was told countless times that what was going on was "just in my head" and then cause tension between myself and loved ones if I ever brought up what was going on internally. I started to believe the lie that it was all "in my head", but noticed that I wasn't myself anytime I believed it. I became disconnected with myself, my loved ones and even things I loved to do. The anxiety took over the wheel and my health began to decline.
It wasn't until I had a series of severe panic attacks that led me into the hospital where counseling was brought up. I recall the nurse looking at me telling me with compassion how I was feeling was okay and to consider talking to a counselor. She mentioned that I wasn't the only one my age going through this. Her words brought comfort and for the first time, I felt like I wasn't alone. My mom then helped me to find a counselor. It was scary at first and uncomfortable, but I am beyond grateful I did. Since then, I've been in and out of therapy, and each time, I've left with another tool I can use when my mind needs a little tune up. I've learned what works for me and what doesn't in therapy. I heard somewhere that our mind is like a garden and whatever we plant and water is what grows. If we want to cultivate a fulfilling life, then we need the proper tools to tend to it. We need to till, dig, plant, and water our minds.
How can one take the first step to receiving professional support?
You start with being gentle to yourself. If your mind is already telling you lies, self-compassion and gentleness is the way to counteract that. "Be kind to your mind!" as I like to say. It may not be easy at first, but what you believe in your heart will eventually catch up to your mind. Then try the following:
Research
-This step may not sound the most fun, but it's worth it. Do some research. It'll help you to see who is in your area, who takes your insurance, and how they approach therapy. Not every counselor will be the same. Not every session will look the same. Research is important because you want to connect with someone who can guide you the most. This may take more than one counselor to find, and that's okay. It's not really a "one size fits all" kind of thing. Helping your mind with the proper guidance and support will only help you to live more authentically and in the present moment. So, do your research. You can go on to different sites, such as Psychology Today, and find someone. You can also check out my resources page at the top of this page!
Ask questions
-Once you find someone, consider questions you'd like to ask them about their practice. You are investing your time, money and energy into this! Here are some questions you can ask:
How long have you've been practicing?
What is your approach to therapy? Are you more client-centered and guiding or directive?
Do you specialize in anything? (E.x. anxiety, depression, couples counseling, etc.)
Do you use any interventions? (Some examples are Cognitive Behavioral Theory, Dialectical Behavior Theory, and Metacognitive Therapy. I like to make sure that the interventions being used are evidence-based.)
What is a typical session like?
How do you set up counseling goals?
How do you keep your clients accountable as they work towards their goals?
What are some indicators that show that therapy will be effective?
How can I prepare for my first session?
Have you had clients handling similar circumstances to my own?
It may feel intimidating to ask these questions and even hear the responses to them. But you have already taken the first step- acknowledging that you need some more support. The questions can bring some peace, clarity and relief to your mind and heart. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to seek guidance.
Life throws so much our way and our minds are trying to process it all. Sometimes we need someone to walk along with us and that's okay. We are not meant to be self-sufficient. We are made for connection.
I'm proud of you for taking action, friend. You future self WILL thank you for doing the inner work. It may not be easy at times, but it will be so worth it.
Action Steps Here are some action steps you can take for your own mental health journey. You don't have to do them all and they're not a quick fix. But a little step you can take to ease any weight you're feeling.
1. Think about if you've contributed to the mental health stigma. If so, think about ways you can help de-stigmatize it. It would be such a help to the community!
2. Write down 2 things you love about yourself. It could be something simple- your smile, your eye color, how you feel when you're in nature, etc. This is a little step you can take towards self-compassion, which will be important in healing your mind.
3. Write down 2 ways that your relationship with yourself and others would be helped if you were to seek therapy.
4. If there's anything you're scared of or worried about regarding therapy, write it down. Then crumple it up and recycle it. You're stronger than whatever it is you wrote down.
5. If you're unable to get to a therapist soon or are feeling overwhelmed, try the following. (note, these are not going to take the place of a therapist. These are simple practices you can do to ease your mind a little in any moment):
-Try the Square Breathing Technique.
-Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, and rest for 4 counts. It's easy to remember since squares have 4 sides! You can find something in the room you're in that's a square and use it as a visual to help you with this technique.
-Try the 5 Sense Grounding Technique - Typically, when feeling anxious, the mind is not in the present. A great way to ground yourself is by taking a deep breathe and using all of your senses. -Find 5 things you can see -Find 4 things you can feel -Find 3 things you can hear
-Find 2 things you can smell
-Find 1 thing you can taste
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